By kiyomi on Mon, 30 Sep 2013
I had the most magical Saturday last weekend in Brooklyn, in a charming little bookshop called "Book Court". here, one of my dreams came true! I got to meet and talk to Francesca Lia Block, one of my favorite authors ever.
Ever since I read her book "Dangerous Angels", i've wanted to meet her, the writer who could capture my heart with her mystical words. the creator of such glittering, beautiful, ethereal, yet human stories. ever since i read the book, i've wanted to work with her somehow, because through her books i've felt like our hearts are the same. i read TONS of books every year, and out of the many thousands i've read in my lifetime, i can confidently say that she is one of my top 5 favorite authors. I have most of her books (and i LOVE all of them!!) and find myself needing to reread them all the time
i've been meaning to write this blog for the past couple of days, but life has been hectic. so today i treated myself to a pedicure while i reread "Dangerous Angels" (i now have shiny raspberry pink toenails!), took a long hot shower and scrubbed myself so that afterwards, my skin could drink in the most luxurious, apricot & vanilla whipped body butter. so NOW, with my green rooibos tea and honey, and my raspberry colored candles lit, i am ready to write this blog
I found out FLB would be in Brooklyn for a reading, about a month or so ago. i immediately marked it into my calendar, knowing that i HAD to go, it was like the universe was giving me the perfect opportunity! but as the day approached, i started to get a little anxious and scared like i usually do when i'm about to meet somebody i so admire. i was tempted to just stay home, where i knew i wouldn't be bothered by the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. but what soul fulfilling event isn't accompanied by some fluttering butterflies?
but as seems to happen often when you need it, i encountered some words by Gabby Bernstein in one of her books, that helped me. it was literally the perfect words at the perfect moment. i read that nobody is more special than anyone else. so i am not better than anyone else because of so and so, and nobody else is better than me. we are all just humans living on this planet, we are all equal. this helped me realize that i had nothing to be nervous about. i was just going to go into Brooklyn to meet a fellow human being (that i totally admire!!).
as soon as i walked into the room that she was speaking in, i just felt calm and happy. i soaked in her words, and then stood in the line to get my book signed. she graciously signed her new book "Love in the Time of Global Warming", as well as my decade old copy of "Dangerous Angels", and gave me a hug because she recognized me from Facebook! she also said i was pretty and that she loved my outfit!! THE FLB, whose fashion descriptions in all her books i SO WORSHIP, said she loved my outfit! i was (am) beyond honored! and of course this was all my reward for pushing myself even though i was uncomfortable. i'd say it was so worth it!!
So now i have my new signed copy of her new book, which i haven't started yet. i'm excited to read it, but somehow find myself saving it for some reason. i guess i don't want it to be over so i don't even want to start! and i am in the middle of "Dangerous Angels" (AGAIN), because i'm inspired by the book that introduced me to her writing. and i also am hoping for one of my biggest dreams ever, that revolves around the book, and around working with FLB! but i am already happy either way, because one of my dreams DID come true, i got to meet the wonderful, and beautiful, Francesca Lia Block
By kiyomi on Tue, 10 Sep 2013
A little while ago before the summer began, i decided that i was going to be happy. i decided i was going to stop groaning and griping about everything i didn't have - the dreams i've always dreamed that i haven't reached yet - and just enjoy life. i got that advice from a lovely soul. she said, "maybe you can forget all your aspirations for the time being and just enjoy your life, the world."
this made me think for a second. and for me to think for a second is kind of a deal. (don't want to say a BIG deal cuz it wasn't THAT big, lol ) i'm a fast talking Aries that's all about doing doing doing. So me pausing after hearing that advice means it kinda made an impression. i thought to myself, "yes, why not just enjoy my world?" so simple!
maybe worrying about getting my goals accomplished and feeling guilty if i'm not doing anything towards them, has not been the most effective method. and i am one that truly does enjoy life. i love all that is has to offer, i love adventure and new experiences and also just the day to day things i do like reading and enjoying a cup of tea so why deny myself the enjoyment of all that? and maybe, just maybe, dreams are what happen while you are just living life?
well, enjoy myself i did. i wiped the worried and intense look off my face and replaced it with a smile. and now, a few months later, i feel happy, i truly do and i had the most wonderful summer i could imagine.
i had the most wonderful wedding reception ever. it still brings a smile to my face it included everything i love. Music, family, friends, a gorgeous dress, necklace, and shoes hee hee, wine!, and Joseph!
we recorded a video for "Wedding Song", which turned out great and i'm so happy with. that's a huge thing because i'm ALWAYS, not completely happy with anything i create!
(Click the image above to see the video! )
i had the best trip ever, to Fingerlakes! we went wine tasting, where i discovered a RED wine, that tastes like BUTTER!! heaven!! i love reds the best, but i love how chardonnay tastes like butter sometimes, too. the best of both worlds in one wine, what a freakin revelation!! this was a treasure find for me. and of course walking among the vineyards with the grapes growing everywhere, i was in heaven
we also got to hike (one of my favorite things to do), in gorgeous weather, by GORGEOUS waterfalls! it was paradise
i also absolutely LOVE fruit, and there were farmers selling their produce everywhere. Local fresh picked raspberries and local honey just MADE one of my days there
i also absolutely ADORE flowers. i got to walk through wild flower gardens and just breathe in the fresh perfumed air outside amongst them all and also just sit in a garden of them and wonder about how i got to my life now
i got to spend TONS of time with my favorite boys on the planet, Eric & Jaron! we went to a Renaissance Fair, the Catskills & Woodstock, went kayaking, and so much more And i got to spend quality time with a lot of my friends. Mary, Amber, Mino! All these people make my life so much fuller and happier
i joined the most wonderful gym, full of yoga, fresh live juices, and ellipticals where i can watch shows on my iPad while on them and my body and spirit have never felt better.
Annd, i broke 400,000 hits on my beloved website, created for me by who i think might literally be the kindest guy on the planet, Joseph, who has been such a blessing for me in my life.
soooo, what do i have to complain about?? nothing! yes, i still have goals and aspirations, but i'm not going to get to them by being depressed and not letting myself live. i will live, i will be happy, and i will realize more and more, that i am living my dream and life is only going to get better and full of more blessings as time goes by. i feel that. maybe my dreams are truly happening while i'm truly LIVING my life!! take, for instance, my new DREAMY pink Uggiesssss!!!! how cute are they?? i just got them the day before yesterday! and they are the perfect color, called Sangria!! how appropriate and yummy?? ;D i'd say they (and everything else this wonderful summer!!), are definitely huge contributors to me living my dreams at this very moment
By kiyomi on Tue, 27 Aug 2013
There's a song in my head right now, a song in my heart right now. i just got back from the gym and wondrous things happen inside me when i'm on the elliptical or while i'm in the middle of a yoga class. i just got back and i'm a slightly sweaty mess so need a shower and i only had one egg for breakfast so am hungry, but i need to create this blog while i still have the notes dancing in my head.
There's a song in my head right now but i will write that out later, hopefully. the creativity strikes here and there, but the following up on it is where the actual creation, the final product comes to be. sadly, many possible songs and blogs and videos have flown away from me before they could be materialized, but the good news is, there will always be more. while i drove home from the gym i heard this song in my head, and i kept feeding it. and since i was in the middle of a highway in my car, i grabbed my iPhone and hummed what i heard. (warning: this may cause dangerous situations where you'll have to slam on your brakes to keep from crashing!!) although all the rolling, building drums, the instrumentation and the background vocals are singing in my brain, i can't record onto my voice memos with just my lone single voice. but i can remember. and if it's really something good i'm on to, i will remember.
i've been wondering what my next move should be. i always have this yearning inside my heart, to do something on a wider scale. to impact the living, loving souls in my environment somehow. i just don't really know how. i feel small sometimes, like i'm this little person in this big world, trying, hoping to do something loving, something positive. but i don't know how. I guess just getting to the next step will suffice. actually, it would make my day, make my entire year!
i joined this gym about a week ago. it's the perfect gym, with a beautiful yoga studio with wood floors and soft lighting, a clean white environment everywhere else, and they sell organic raw juices! kinda like my idea of a paradise i realize that while doing something physical that's good for me, i can tap into my spiritual, which in turn helps my emotional. especially with yoga, but also just being on the elliptical. and maybe, well actually, surely, this gym was brought to my attention a while ago by a friend, for a reason. like most things in our lives are brought to our attention for a reason. if we listen carefully, the right things are introduced to us, and hopefully we can all be aware enough to invite them in. and let it do its magic and lead us to the right situation, or people, or mindset.
the gym for me, is a very welcome addition to my life because it brings out my creativity. something i sometimes don't tap into when i'm just sitting on my butt and feeling sorry for myself. and yes, when i look better (from working out), i definitely feel better, which makes me prone to DO more, create more, sing more… i also tend to do better with taking care of my body when it's not just about the physical, but knowing it's helping me in so many other ways. and yes, i admit i can be a very vain creature, so i don't do videos when i feel fat and unattractive and like a couch potato. but maybe it's more an insecurity thing. maybe i'm AFRAID of looking less than, because then maybe in my made up world i won't be good enough. so no longer will my vanity (or insecurity!) be what stops me from making videos, especially if i'm taking care of myself!
yesterday, i took a yoga class, and a third of the way into the class, the song "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt came on. i love that song i just let myself believe i was being told that i'm beautiful, which is good because i'm very hard on myself, and have especially recently been trying to work on loving myself (and in turn, others) more. i guess that i can't truly love others fully until i love myself fully and that's been hard for me. i'm too critical of myself!! and that has got to stop and i'm determined that it will. SO... didya HEAR?? James BLUNT says i'm BEAUTIFUL!!! so it MUST be true!! haha, just kidding and it's musically such a pretty song to me. i just like it! it touches some part of me, in a way that words can't really explain. the definition of a good song, to me. AND i think i just got a sign from somewhere out there, in my inbox, one of the writers i love (Sark) is doing a course on self love, maybe i will take it Strange coinkydink that i got it just now... This really makes me believe even more that if you seek you shall find.
so maybe i can't really do something that will ease the yearning in my heart until i can truly spread real LOVE out to my world. and i don't know if i can really do that without really loving myself first. but i feel a burst of creativity right now so maybe it's the gift or reward i've been given, from actively trying to love myself and others more. So i'm getting an 'E' for effort!! our efforts are always recognized, i think, so that we will be urged to go further, in the right direction. so now i must say, thank you, to yoga, to the elliptical, to green juice, to the gym, and to the Universe, for this song in my head, this song in my heart, that stirred all this gratitude and love within me