So i wanted to wrap up my 2013 year in the right way, that is, the right way for me. and this year i thought that would be from a hotel!! so right now i am in a Marriott hotel near my house, yes, you heard me, i am staying at a hotel near my house, haha!
now why would i go to hotel near my own town, you may ask? well first, i LIKE hotels. i like how i don’t have to worry about cooking and cleaning, and i can pick up a magical phone in my room and anything i want will be delivered to me, pronto. i like how i can leave to go get some (complimentary) breakfast, and while i’m gone, my room will magically get cleaned and organized. i like being able to walk down the hall, go down the elevator, and walk right into a restaurant for dinner (again, no cooking & cleaning up!). i like taking baths in a tub that i don’t have to scrub. and second, i feel my creativity & inner voice strikes stronger when i am in a different environment than what i’m used to every day. i can really clear my head and find exactly what my heart is saying, without being influenced by everyday chores and reality.
So, i am typing away on my Macbk Pro (a hand me down from Joseph), with a glass of red wine in hand. i have just finished reflecting on my 2013 in Leonie Dawson’s “2014 Create Your Amazing Year” workbook. I just love her workbooks (and i highly recommend them!) because they inspire me to envision and make happen, all i want for the new year. it also helps me reflect on the year that just ended. the reflecting, for me, is the best way to be able to really see what i learned in the past year, how i grew. and with this knowledge, and with this new & improved me i have become, i can create and plan magic for the next year!
So, what i wanted to share with you - a list of all i did or accomplished in 2013, and all the wishes that came true! i always reserve the first few pages of my current journal for things i’ve done or that happened that make my heart sing, and as they happen, i add them to the list
- i was able to share my video of “Little Angels” to a lot of people ( i hope it was able to bring some comfort and love, my goal for writing this song)
- i performed in a female singer/songwriters showcase in Brooklyn
- i sang for a Japan Benefit in Brooklyn
- i saw Dimitri Martin doing his standup comedy at the Tarrytown Music Hall (i bought tix for Joseph for his bday!)
- i was wined, dined and spoiled in NYC for my bday weekend (thank you Joseph!)
- i saw the broadway play “Once” in NYC and loved it (beautiful, the musicians were all right on stage too!)
- i saw a play called “Hikobae” in NYC, about the tsunami in Japan (it was beautiful and moving)
- i did a TON of hiking (food for my body and soul)
- i made a mother’s day pesto bar for my mom at my place
- i went to Woodstock with Joseph for Memorial Day weekend, and dedicated it to finally celebrating my “Child In Me” Album that i never let myself feel proud of (yes i should have done this in 2011!!)
- climbed to the top of Overlook Mountain, during this getaway (it was not easy!!)
- we created a business name and official biz for any and all of our creations (called kikijojo LLC, heh heh, yes i’m serious. it has numerological significance!!!)
- i sang my stuff on the “Alive with Clive” show
- i went hiking a lot with my favorite boys on the planet, my nephews, and carved their names into a tree
- i wrote “Wedding Song”
- i had the best wedding reception ever, with family and friends!!!
- i had an internal breakthrough with my parents. i forgave everything that was less than ideal from my childhood, and in the process, realized i really have the greatest parents i could ask for
- i paid off my student loan, haha!!
- went to two of my friends’ baby showers (congrats Mino & Amber!)
- went to Fingerlakes wine country and Ithaca for our FIRST honeymoon with Joseph (it was soo wonderful, and Honeymoon #2 will be in France and/or Italy!!)
- i recorded a few music videos with my sister and childhood best friend Mary (they turned out beautiful!!)
- i went to the Renaissance Fair with my sister and my favorite boys on the planet
- i joined a wonderful gym
- i went to Woodstock again with my parents and sister and kids!
- i broke 400,000 hits on my website ( i thank you so much for visiting me, from the bottom of my heart)
- i went on a 7.3 mi hike (goal is 10 miles!)
- i met Francesca Lia Block!!!!!!!! a dream of mine and she knew who i was and liked my outfit and said i was pretty!!!!!!
- i went to go see “Rock & Roll Debauchery”, which my friend Ronnie Negro played drums in and hung out with him and his lovely wife Deeanna afterwards
- i got a tarot card reading from The Tarot Lady (i highly recommend her, she’s great!!)
- we celebrated our first year of marriage in CT, at a Bed & Breakfast, and had a wonderful time with wine and oysters and truffle fries!!!
- i helped put on a kick ass holiday choral concert at Clearview School in Briarcliff!
- i took a bubbly wine class
- i got a gratitude journal app on my iPhone (and religiously record everyday what i love about my life!)
- i had a wonderful Christmas eve celebration with my family
- i had a wonderful Christmas day celebration with Joseph, and got the most wonderful presents, including the Leonie 2014 workbook, and a Sark “How To Be an Artist” blanket!
- i did a 3 day cleanse (raw veg/fruit juices, all veg and non-meat protein diet)
- 2 nights at a hotel to write this blog, and reflect on 2013 and dream up 2014!
So that’s what i have down on the first few pages of my journals, everything that sang to me that i was able to do. But i have to say that the biggest things i got from this year, 2013, was the lessons i learned. i learned to forgive. and in being able to do that, i was able to live and dream, and gain a knowing that i can now set out to make magic happen. i also learned that nobody is better than me, and i am not better than anyone else. a key lesson for me, probably the biggest and something i know i have needed to learn. and also love. that is what i want to give the world, project to everyone around me. there is only love. i also learned to LIVE again. 2011 and 2012, i was stuck in fear. but maybe i needed that to process and learn things. all i asked was to be able to FEEL again. and i was able to. and i am so grateful for that. i also know that yes, we have a portion of responsibility to fulfill. but there is also timing. things will happen in the right time. and sometimes, in order for the time to be right, certain lessons must be learned, certain life experiences must be experienced. certain things must happen before others can come to be.
and i just wanted to say, i am grateful for it all. even the hardships. because through them i am able to get to the next level, to learn the lessons that need learning. to be able to see things clearer, to see why things happen the way they do.
so, here’s to a wonderful, magical, 2014. i hope all of your dreams come true. i know some of my dreams have happened, some are happening right now, and some will happen in 2014. in any case, life is magical at every moment, and there is always a treasure if you look. and remember, there is only love
I woke up with a feeling of lightness and a slight excitement, and a KNOWING that today would be a lovely little day i was right when i looked out my window and the world was covered with sparkly, glittery, fluffy, calming white snow! and watching the delicate snowflakes continually drifting down over the already snowy whiteness just made me feel so peaceful and happy and taken care of
and all i could think was, “i soooo needed this, and i GOT it!!”. i knew, this was the answer to my prayer last night! i didn’t formally ask for snow today, or a day off, but i was going slightly crazy from being overworked! like cray-cray-starting-to-lose-my-marbles, really.
when i came back from a full day yesterday, all i could do was stare at my iPhone and play Dots. my brain and body were just fried. and i stayed up till 1AM like a zombie, just so i wouldn’t have to sleep, because sleeping would mean i would have to wake up and face another crazy day!! i looked in the mirror an hour before i finally drifted off (i was STILL playing in the dark while lying down till i fell asleep!), and i seriously looked like a MAD WOMAN!! Now, if you look as bad as i did last night, and if you are clinging to your phone for dear life playing freakin’ DOTS, and if you are refusing to go to sleep so tomorrow won’t come, then YOU NEED A BREAK!! like pronto!! hahaha.
(Now i just want to make a note here that this is not normal behavior, its the friggin holidays!! i didn’t have much of a break weekend at all with all the chores and errands and shopping that had to be done the whole time! Like not even one second to just stare at the wall!!)
Anyway, the point of this story and the reason why i was so deliriously happy? I felt heard and take care of! and it was proven all over again how the Universe really has our backs!! i didn’t even know i needed a break and i was granted one. and i’m so gratefully happy to feel understood.
But it’s not just about snow and days off, it’s apparent in life if you really take a look. which is why one of my favorite quotes has always been “An unexamined life is not worth living”. if i look back on my entire life, it seems as though i’ve always had an invisible little helper leading me in the right direction. and of course i’ve take many wrong turns, but that’s just what humans do. take wrong turns, learn, then keep going. and we grow from it all, really. and then from time to time, life just hands us these beautiful gift wrapped packages. and of course there are the everyday, just-as-pretty packages we get, if we take the time to be notice and we get to feel over and over, like we’ve always been heard and understood.
and speaking of wrong turns, i may have taken just a little one with all the complaining i’ve done, about SNOW, the very snow i worship today. but i think that’s been canceled out with all the raving i’ve done about it today, haha
Wow, all this and i was really just aiming to write about SNOW, honest!! Anyway, now Joseph & I are off to bundle up like Eskimos and venture out into the snowy wonderland and treat ourselves to lunch out, if anything is open!! and maybe i’ll be able to take some pics on my iPhone to include in this blog. and speaking of wrong turns on my part (again!), do you know who’s probably even more grateful for this snow than i am? Joseph! because he’s had to DEAL with this mad woman (now turned serene woman with a very ladylike smile on her face) for the last 24 hrs! ;D
Today ended up being a lovely little Sunday, really. I’m all about action, action, and have a hard time staying at home for an entire day. I’ll usually have to barge out the door and find something to do to get me out! but today i found myself content to stay in. although it can be a little frightening for me to do “nothing” (i mean, HOW am i going further realize my dreams by doing NOTHING??), maybe part of being able to realize them comes through the down time and honestly, most of the time the “action” i take towards my dreams is to sit down and fret about how to get to them! which in actuality is really doing nothing, isn’t it, haha! so what if we stopped worrying about getting where we want to be, and just let life happen? would we get to the land of the roses, rainbows, and gold anyway? hmm. something tells me yes!
My week started off pretty well because i got a Tarot card reading done last friday! it was a wonderful reading, and somehow through it, i felt connected to a source that just KNOWS. in my opinion, it doesn’t have to be Tarot, if that’s not your thing. i just think that if you’re searching for answers, or trying to find ways to expand yourself and grow, whatever method that’s used can be instrumental to help. and i’ve most definitely tried anything and everything! i read somewhere that this is a good attitude to have. to just try anything that may call to you, because everything works if your heart’s right! i’ve tried and still practice: journaling, meditation, sometimes prayer, MUSIC, composing, yoga, the gym, hiking, psychics, reading TONS of books on every subject, cooking, crystals, candles, Buddha, numerology, and i think i’ll stop there but the list goes on! ...So my reading went well, it was intuitive and i connected to it, and it left me feeling refreshed and inspired to keep going!
so today i dedicated my day to Tarot, cooking, and writing this blog because i was so inspired by the Tarot reading i got, i took out the two decks of cards i own, and a new unread book i bought previously called “Seventy Eight Degrees of Wisdom”, spread them around me on my bed and got to studying! i just find it all so fascinating, and there is just so much to learn! i’ve already read a handful of books on Tarot, and have done numerous readings on myself, but today i found that i wanted to further my limited knowledge. i also wanted to read up more on the Empress card because my recent reading said i would become this within a year! according to my studies on it so far, it means feminine, creative, motherlike, abundant, and full of joy. sounds cool to me! and hopefully i will also one day become a very efficient and intuitive Tarot card reader, now that would be verrry cool too!!
although i was STUCK to my cards and book for much of the day, i did get up to make some food so we wouldn’t die of starvation. a week or so before, we had gone to the farmers market in town with the most beautiful produce. i had seen a butternut squash and bought it because it was so pretty, and because everyone buys pumpkins and squash in the fall, and it had been sitting on my counter for a little bit. so i picked it up and decided it would be the perfect day for some soup, it being chilly and all
i first got out my favorite cherry-red dutch oven that i got for christmas one year, and sautéed a chopped onion and some garlic in butter. then i added a chopped large carrot, a stalk of celery and some chicken broth, then the whole small butternut squash that i’d cubed. such a PERFECT one it was, because it was straight from one of the local farms and it was vibrant orange in color inside with such a fresh, sweet scent when cut open. things like this inspire me! and then my secret ingredients, a small peeled and cored chopped apple for some extra freshness and sweetness, a small sweet potato (or a small regular potato with a dollop of honey) for heartiness, and some marscapone cheese stirred in in the end, for richness! then some salt, pepper, a little dash of pumpkin pie spice, and then i blend, blend, blended, till it was silky smooth i now call it “Kiki’s Butternut Squash Soup”, hehe! AND Mr finicky eater Joseph said it was delicious, so success, woohoo!
and now that i’m at the end of writing this blog, success here too, along with a productive day of studying Tarot, what more could i ask for on this chilly Sunday? Well, i guess today is a great example for me, of how a day in could be such a treasure sometimes. Nowwww, what to do till i go to sleep tonight??