So something magical seems to happen when i write my goals down and hope for them, and consciously strive for them, but important, NOT BE DESPERATE ABOUT THEM. The same with my dreams, which are different in that they are not just things i can check off of my to do list, but more things i want for my life that may take a bit more time, and maybe some divine assistance, preparation, as well as the right timing.
it seems kinda like a contradiction to really want something so deeply and passionately, yet not be desperate about it. this is something i’ve learned how to do recently, and am still learning how to do. it’s kind of like just trusting and KNOWING. and then just living life and enjoying it!!
yes, goal writing can be useless if done the wrong way, say, in a desperate manner. like you’re gonna FREAK if everything is not checked off by this date and done in this way. and then you just give up because WHY go on, you FAILED anyway! but i’ve learned to just write what i want to hopefully accomplish and if i don’t, then what the hell, i’ll try again next year! and i’m also more honestly aware if something that i’ve wanted to do no longer speaks to me anymore. i’ll just cross it off and get on! and i won’t punish myself for it! REVELATION! ;D
anyway, i’ve had on my list for 2 or maybe 3 years now, to go on a 10 mile hike. i’ve always been drawn to making a goal of some sort, so that i can strive for something. like running the marathon! except that i don’t really run... (and truthfully, it’s for vain reasons, heh heh, but hey i’m being honest! i heard it causes wrinkles, and i feel like they’ll make my boobs sag, haha!! ..shhhh i didn’t just write that)
well, my goal for a 10 mile hike all started out with an 8 mile hike joseph and i went on…which was NOT pretty! ok, the HIKE was pretty and everything i’d hoped it would be. we were in the beautiful catskills, at a wonderful B&B with a claw footed tub! and we had a plan! we would hike 8 miles from the B&B to one of my favorite funkadelic restaurants, The Eggs Nest, and then hike back! coolio!! it would be pretty and perfect!! but…no. it ended up not being so pretty, when we got tired and absolutely FAMISHED!!! like desperately so. before we reached The Egg’s Nest! yes, we’d not even thought to pack water or snacks or anything, really! (something we’ve NEVER forgotten again)
about 7 or so miles into the hike, i started feeling light headed and flushed, and i had to sit down. then hunger hit me like crazy. and i couldn’t get up. luckily there was a bench, and i fell onto it. which was not very convenient cuz we were stuck in the middle of the woods, with nobody to help us get anywhere, and no food!! i was freaking out, like seriously. and poor joseph (who i’m sure was just as tired and famished), was probably freaking out cuz i was freaking out!! i was lying down on the bench with my arms dramatically draped over my face saying “i cannnnnn’t go on anymorrrrrrree, i’m gonna diiiiiiiieeeeee!!!!” “are there any apple trees, we NEEEEEED to find an apple treeeeeee!!!!” “or what about acorns, we need to find an acornnnnnn!!!” “aaaahhhh!!!” but really, i thought we would get stuck there, and it would get dark and then we’d really be screwed. which we look back on now and think it slightly funny... or maybe i’m the only one of the two of us that thinks so… (nose wrinkle)
anyway, joseph did somehow manage to find an acorn, a half rotten one with a hole in it!! i was kind of kidding about that, but it was kind of him to find one for me, wasn’t it? and honestly, we weren’t really gonna eat an acorn even if he’d found a nice one, haha! it just felt comforting to me then and there, that they were around if we really were on the verge of starvation, i mean, squirrels eat them, right!!
well, i passed out for a little bit, then got up and we started walking again, i mean, what else were we to do? so we trudged along for another mile and finally reached The Eggs Nest. then had to call the innkeeper who so kindly drove to us and picked us up, and couldn’t help chuckling at our (ridiculous) grand master hiking plan. and yes, there is a picture that joseph took of me, while i was passed out on the bench, which i will not post here, since it's embarrassing!
but hey, we went on an 8 mile hike. With no food or water. or a flashlight, either. so there. annnd we learned never to set out on a long hike, unprepared!
we’ve been on a ton of hikes since then but this month we set out on my big goal, a 10 mile hike. no pressure or anything - if we didn’t make it, we would try again next time. and because of our past experience and what we’d learned, we were able to enjoy the hike peacefully, with no drama and the strange-in-a-good-way thing is, i felt we were being helped along the way, evident through little coincidences.
so the goal this time was to hike 5 miles, then turn around, and 5 miles back and voila! 10 miles. so we set off on a trail, which a couple of miles into it, ended. so we hiked back the trail, and started on another. so our plan was already off, but whatevs! we sat down on a log and ate apples (notttt from an apple tree, but ones we’d BROUGHT along with us, heh heh, we’ve learned!), and started on another trail, called the orange trail. i started to get nervous about how far we should go, cuz the detour made it hard to know how far we’d actually gone from the starting point. but we kept going, and then the orange trail ended. and literally at that point, my pedometer read 5 miles, exactly. i thought that was an interesting coincidence, and knew it was our sign to turn around and hike back! (i love when i don’t have to make decisions! )
anyway, the hike back ended up being shorter cuz of the detour, but there was a lake we could walk around a few times, to lengthen the hike. of course, at 7 miles, i got really tired, that seems to be my breaking point! and i wanted to stop and try for 10 another time. but joseph seemed really adamant about doing 10 miles, so encouraged me to keep going. so i put a bandaid on my blister (yes, we packed them!), and we kept going. and when we hit 8.3, the longest we’ve ever done, joseph gave me a high five (he really wanted us to do a happy dance but SERIOUSLY, I was like, what? I was too tired and needed to save my energy!!)
towards the end, we had the option of going around the lake a longer vs shorter way. i was so tired at this point, i just said, “shorter way, no ifs ands or buts!!” so that’s the way we went, and then walked back to my car. and RIGHT when we got to my car, my pedometer read 10 miles, EXACTLY, which i thought was another cool co-inky-dink!! and we were EXHILARATED!! it is the best feeling in the world, when you end a hike, but more so when you’ve reached a goal!! yessss!!! 10 mile hike!! and it was a REAL hike, too, with uphill and downhill, and rocks, streams, and unpaved paths!! i wanted to take a picture here, to document, so walked to a nearby rock to do so, and darn, the pedometer now read 10.01, and that’s the pic i got. but whatevs, 10 mile hike!! we did it!
and now I think we'll try for another goal hike, I'm thinking 12 miles…
So I’ve been finding myself seriously interested in Tarot cards recently. i’ve always had a fascination for them, and in the past have had a fear of them, but not until recently have i been seriously studying them, or at least dealing with them everyday.
i have a card-a-day ritual, where i pull a card every morning, right when i wake up while i’m still almost half asleep. that way i’m still not quite in this world yet and not fully conscious. doing this everyday actually helps me to see what each card i pull is really actually about, because i’m able to learn by living the moments, seeing with my own eyes, and feeling the meaning of the cards. i also had done an entire 2014, monthly card draw (back in Jan), and for the month of march, i’d pulled the 10 of Pentacles.
so what does this card mean, and has the happenings of this month turned out to be reflective of it?
well, since i’m still a novice in card reading, i had looked to some books for some insight. 10 Pentacles means massive abundance & wealth. a cycle has come to an end and a turn to the more spiritual side of life. a happy home card. mundane but magic. success, culmination, financial stability. the card shows a gateway in the picture, a doorway into a city. an entrance to the magical space between desire for abundance and its physical manifestation. completion, an applause at the end of the show. which of course means, you’re back to the beginning, of a new cycle. coolio.
well, both joseph and i’s birthdays happen to lie in march. so that in itself signified a 10 of Pentacles kind of march one of my gifts to him was to take him to a wine and food dinner pairing at Le Jardin Du Roi. we’d been there once before, and i’d ordered one of my favorites, salad nicoise, and it was absolutely delish, not to forget to mention the wine anyway, this dinner happened to be on a tuesday, which we would normally not have gone to had it not been joseph’s birthday. we were a bit tired, and it being a work night and all, i was wondering what to expect in terms of me being up for it. but we went because i’d already reserved our spots. and it happened to be the loveliest evening ever! (although the wine flowed a little toooo freely, heh heh!) i happened to be seated next to the nicest woman, and our personalities just totally clicked! it’s like one of those situations where you meet someone and there’s an instant spark, and a knowing that your souls are of the same kind
anyway, we’d planned an impromptu getaway to California a few days before that dinner, and it happened that this woman always goes there, and i was able to take a handful of notes on where to go and what to do. it was like she was planted there so she could help us have a lovely time in cali, since we’d literally booked the trip a little over a week before we were to go, and had no plans whatsoever besides a place to stay. and somehow i don’t feel like this is the only reason we met that night but that’s for time to reveal.
and of course, our trip to LA and Santa Barbara! i’d just had it up to my head with the nonstop snow and cold weather, so i said, “i’d love to go to CA”. so we went, it was as simple as that. but really, i figure, life is short, why not just do the things you want to do? not to mention, it’s on the list of my to do’s, and has been for a couple years already! and really, yes there’s always, “we need to save money for this and that”, but i think that paying for memories, is an amazing investment. also, it was our birthdays!! annnd, we had already decided to go no matter what, but a little after the decision was made, joseph got a bonus from work, so i felt like it was a beautiful gift and a push from the Universe to go
and a wonderful time we had there. we stayed in the most beautiful, artistic, funkadelic b&b ever, owned by the artists who made it that way. i especially loved the bathroom window, there was a huge cactus right outside it! we hiked and hiked, one of our loves. we drank a million green juices and ate a ton of exotic foods. we found my most perfect ever, dusty rose colored heart ring, also on my to do list. (my word of the year is “love”, and i’d been looking for a heart ring to symbolize that). i read the most beautiful book by Cheryl Strayed, “Wild”. and of course, we visited the southern cali wine country and stayed in the town of Solvang, the area where the wine movie i love, “Sideways” was filmed. it was magical…and of course the weather was delicious!!
the majority of my family happens to have our birthdays in march, yes, weird!, so we also had a few family birthday lunches out this month. my family is the best! and my friend Amber had a ceremony for her 6 month old, which happened in March as well. definitely the family card energy here.
so yes, i’d say it was a wonderful month, full of the 10 of Pentacles energy. and i do think i’ve entered a gateway of some sort, that happened this month. i can’t really put it into words just yet, as it’s still just a feeling. but again, time will tell.
and lastly by the way, today’s card of the day happens to be the Knight of Cups. i pulled this the last time Joseph came home from NC, leading me to believe that he represents this particular knight, especially when coming home. but i feel i also pull it when i’m supposed to do something besides waiting for my life to become even more resemblant of my dreams, when i need to take action of some sort. i pulled it the day before yesterday when i felt the need to write, but that didn’t happen. so of course it appeared again today, telling me to take action yet again, and this time i did! by writing this blog today. woohoo!!
i’m not so big on commercial holidays really, but i wanted to share about my Valentine’s Day this year i just realize that i’m so very grateful for the life and love i have today, and i don’t want to ever take it for granted although i know i sometimes may. i also want to keep it in mind even more so, because i realize this day can be a difficult one for many people, both single and coupled. single, because you can feel lonely especially if you don’t have a date, and for everyone, because there can be so much expectation involved. so i just wanted to acknowledge my gratitude that i have the kindest guy by my side, and we enjoyed the day, just like it was any other day, no matter what came our way
last year joseph surprised me with flowers before Valentine’s day, and it really did surprise me this year, however, it snow stormed and we were stuck in the house, and everything was closed! luckily i had bought some bacon chocolate (yes, i said bacon and it’s delish!) earlier for joseph, and had written my card for him during the snowstorm. and i had woken up to a beautiful hand made card, with the soundtrack to “Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812”, a show that we had just watched and enjoyed in NYC, on my iPhone!
we had agreed on no presents and just dinner, but on the day of, it was pretty icky out and joseph left the house saying he was going to get some fresh air and listen to some music. hmmm, now he never does this ever, so i knew something was up, heh heh and he came back with some beautiful roses for me, and they smelled DIVINE! and i pressed some of the petals like i usually do for my journal, and dried some whole roses as well. and they made me happy cuz flowers always make me happy!
later we ventured out because we had made reservations to a wonderful restaurant, Mint, and oh my goodness was it worth it!! i was even able to check off one of my “to do”'s (i have many, and will hopefully get around to writing about them soon!) for 2014, which was to try foie gras! it was so amazing and seared and melty on my tongue-y, and the caramelized pears under it was so perfect with it, oh my goshhh!! they also gave us some complimentary salami, my favorite kind, some truffled brie, and some amaaaazing smoked paprika aged cheddar.
although we try to eat vegetarian at least half the time, special occasions call for something separate from the norm, so i ordered a lobster tail that came with a roasted acorn squash stuffed with parmesan & lobster risotto, and i was in absolute heaven. joseph ordered a ribeye steak that ended up being bigger than his head, and he literally looked like he was on some planet in heaven when he tasted it
for dessert we often times like to get creme brûlée, but decided on a strawberry shortcake, and it came out and was heart shaped! the whole dinner, paired with some prosecco made the evening special and we had such a lovely time! and i must say, one thing i particularly love about good food and wine is that when you are enjoying it, you can honestly say that you are truly in the moment.
i guess another way we were able to truly enjoy ourselves was that we didn’t try so hard to make it perfect. and it ended up being so because of that we knew that no matter what happened, it would be good because we just WERE!
to end i wanted to leave you with a quote, because this quote came to me twice within a few days, from two different sources and i found that slightly eerie, but in a good way. and i took it to mean that i should pay attention to it somehow, or maybe get it out there somehow. so here it is,
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself” ~Anna Quindlen
Love, Roses, & Prosecco,